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Thursday, October 16, 2008

kisses from katie

If you want to be challenged and blessed today- please read this post from one incredible 19 year old.  I read her entire blog the other day and am better for it.  

Click here to visit her blog!


if my people PRAY...
most of you who have been on this journey have been able to watch me go from a little "brentwood girl" who loved shoe shopping and her yellow car, who relied on God a little but mostly on her cell phone and her money and her mommy and daddy, to a woman, all alone in a foreign land, with nothing to rely on but The Lord Almighty. you have laughed and cried with me as i have put my trust in God to do the little things like kill the bat in the shower or hold off the rain on a long walk home, and the big things like heal my dying children and provide guidance for each step i take on this path. He has provided unfailingly. sometimes in the way i expected, and sometimes in a way quite His own and so much better. it doesn't change the fact: HE HAS PROVIDED UNFAILINGLY.

oh, but i am a human, and ever so slow to learn. some days i just marvel at His patience with me. i have often wondered since re-entering the US why i feel such great culture shock. how can i feel such a disconnect with the place i was born, raised, and for 18 years called home? i have blamed it on many things. american extravagance. the grocery store that almost sends me into panic attack mode due to the sheer quantity and variety of foods. people building million dollar homes. a lack of understanding and a lack of thanksgiving on the part of all of us. the ease with which we receive medical care. the amount of STUFF that just clutters our lives.

it hit me just the other day like a rock on the head. all these things make it difficult to readjust, yes. but what has been the big shock to my system, the huge disconnect, is that i have stepped out of my reliance on God to meet my needs. if i am sick i go to the drug store or doctor. if i am hungry i go to the grocery, need to get somewhere, get in my car, need some advice or guidance, call my mom or go plop on my roommate's bed, want to feel happy, get ben or brad to make me laugh. i keep forgetting to ask God first to heal me, to fill me, to guide me, to rejoice with me. i have to set aside "time to pray" in the morning and at night instead of being in CONSTANT COMMUNICATION with Him. as i sit here writing, i am frustrated at my own stupidity, my human willingness to step back into a place i swore i detested.

for a split second this weekend, my world was shattered. my best friend in the universe, who is going to be a very successful accountant one day in the near future, asked if she could take a look at the ministry's finances, practice on them (this was a blessing to me also as sometimes i am not quite as organized as i would like to be). to say the least, she was baffled. how was this even working? out of 150 children that need to go to school, only 44 are sponsored. that means that the other kids are going to school on donations, or my savings. i still owe ugandan schools about 8,000 dollars to finish this term which will end in december, not to mention that the rent on the house is due next month. she couldn't figure out logically how this could work. if i couldn't even finish paying for this school year, how was i going to pay for 2009? if sponsorship money only covered the cost of school fees, how was i going to continue to pay my overhead? my very un-business-like answer was, "so far, we have made ends meet. the money just always comes by the end of the month." i think she wanted to laugh at me, but i love her for not doing it. she explained to me, as so many others, my very wise father included, that this was not possible. i would have to cut back. that only the 44 children who actually have sponsors will be able to continue school in 2009, the rest of the money raised will go to paying off debt we owe the other schools and then as we have savings we can expand to more children. the idea of telling 106 children that not only could they no longer go to school but also that i would not be feeding them or providing their medical care was something i couldn't even imagine. my mind raced. i held my composure until she left and then broke down in tears.

that is when God yelled at me. the rock hit me on the head. i never chose these 150 children, God gave them to me. i never planned to send them all to school, He did. its not me who is carrying all this out, it is our Lord for whom all things, ALL THINGS are possible! i could just see Him up there laughing at me. "Oh, you of little faith! ASK ANYTHING IN MY NAME AND YOU IT WILL BE GRANTED YOU!" i had become so concerned about how I was going to continue to provide for these kids that i has forgotten that it wasn't even supposed to me me who was providing! i had been so busy working to raise money, that i had forgotten to keep asking Him. i literally fell to my knees. i am not cutting back. i am not telling 106 kids that they are not going to school next year. why would i do that? look at the last year. has God ever failed to provide EXACTLY what is needed? no. why then, would i ever believe that He is not going to provide this time?! i fell to my knees. i begged for forgiveness. i promised to do better. i began fasting and praying fervently for his continued provision. since then 13 children have been sponsored, 3 new fundraising dinners have been set up. friends have rallied around me asking what they can do to help. i did nothing but pray. i am no longer fasting but i have resumed my constant communication with God. He gave me this life, why wouldn't he want to be involved in every minute of it?

i have written this long story that you may be encouraged. make a conscious effort today not to set aside "time to pray" but to live in CONSTANT PRAYER. all you have to do is ask. ask and believe that nothing is too small or too big for your Lord. HE WILL SHOW UP. just make sure you invite Him!

70,000 dollars will pay off our debt for this year and send all 150 children to school the whole of next year with money left over for food, water, electricity and medical care. i BELIEVE that God will finish this good work that He started. i KNOW that He is faithful. pray with me. KNOW with me.

for all of you out there praying for a miracle (davis family!) - keep presenting your extravagant requests to God.


to sponsor a child look to the right side of the blog under "blog archive" and find the July 3 post.

to donate to help us finish out this year make a check for any amount payable to Amazima Ministries and send it to Amazima Ministries International, 1694 Autumn Place, Brentwood, TN 37027.

thank you to my supportive friends, and all of you who are prayer warriors for us right now. you are instrumental in this great plan, what a blessing!


Holli said...

WOW! Thanks for passing this along!
I couldn't get to her blog from yours? could you post her blog again? Thanks!

Jen said...

Nothing like a blog like that to put my priorities back in order. Thank you. She seems like an incredible young lady. I am going right back to her blog to read it through.

Jen said...

PS hope you and Abe are feeling better.

Cheryl said...

I just have to say... oh I shouldn't... but I will! I told you! :) Katie is an amazing young woman. I can't wait to see God send ALL these children to school. He is faithful! Praise His name!

Erica said...

Katie is one amazing girl. A blogger friend sent me her blog a few weeks ago. I too spent an evening reading it in all the way through. God has used her in a mighty way - He used her blog to give us some confirmations of our own on some things. Amazing how God works. I'm excited to see how He's going to provide for this little family. I agree with Jen - total check up on our priorities for sure.

Kendra said...

You don't know me, but I have been reading your blog for about a month because of a friend who is going through the adoption process in Ethiopia as well. I have been touched by you and your family--and I saw all of the videos before you had to remove some of them. Amazing and tear-jerking all at the same time. I too want to adopt a little girl. Anyway, I am sending my friends and family to Katie's blog because of this passion I have suddenly found in the children of Africa. Thank you for sharing her post. Hoefully we can all help.
God Bless--

Jana said...

well, i now have tears streaming down my face.

i'm ready when you are, emily. :)

Oatsvall Team said...

don't you love how the blog world works ... a friend sent her to me and of course as I was reading and crying I called Suzanne .. We have been meeting w/ her and just loving on her for weeks now ...We are determined to help her raise the money she needs ...

She is babysitting for me tonight ... I pray God continues to bless her sweet heart and all her children in Uganda ... She plans to head back sometime in Jan I think to spend a semester back in Uganda ... She is HOMESICK ..

I love ya girl !!!

Heather Holland said...

Thanks, Em. I passed that on to lots of friends and read it to my kids at breakfast. What a wonderful reminder.

Erin and Keith Sager said...

touching, amazing, thanks for sharing....

Tracy said...

Isn't she amazing?! Totally puts this side of eternity into perspective! :)

Kristy -Mom to 4 and soon to be more! said...

Hi Emily,
I am forever changed thanks to you making me aware of this amazing young woman and her ministry! Thank you for sharing this! My hubby is already asking me when we're heading to Uganda! :-)

Kristi J said...

She's coming over for breakfast on Thursday morning and I can't wait to meet her and hear her story...what a great post...can I copy what you posted?? I thought I'd make it my post tomorrow and then introduce her with pics on my blog the next day...what an inspirational kid!!! Kristi

auntie katie said...

covering you in prayer, sweet friend.

lots of love :)

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"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from becoming polluted by the world." James 1:27
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