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Friday, May 16, 2008

be still

You all are amazing! We feel so loved and cared for by so many right now.  Each and every comment has overwhelmed me.  I know that many people are standing in the gap for us right now and we feel it.  Praying on the phone, reading encouraging emails, receiving some gorgeous flowers, getting "I'm just calling to check on you" phone calls, "I have been there and know how you feel" phone calls - all from this crazy blog world.  Thank you. 

Where are we?  We are grieving.  We are confused.  We feel far away from Ethiopia, but are still 100% convinced that our children are there.  We don't know what the next step is right now and we are praying for clarity in the decision making process.

We want the best for these two precious kids that the Lord gave us for a short time.  While we thought they were to come here and be ours forever, we are starting to see that His plan was different.  I don't know if we were allowed the privilege to pray for them and to love them for a time until they were united with more of their family.  We do know that we want His best for them and I have such a hard time thinking that staying there is the answer.  We may not ever have all of the answers that we want and we are dealing with that as well.

I don't mean to be cryptic at all.  I know I love to read a blog entry that answers all of my questions and I wish that I could provide more info right now.  We don't have much and once I have more, hopefully I will be able to share it.  We have someone in ET right now trying to find out more details and pray that this will bring some clarity to our family.

The kids are doing better.  Telling them was one of the hardest things that Moody and I have done.  They really don't understand!  They love these two so much and just wanted them to come home.  It has been a huge example to them of trusting the Lord in really hard circumstances.  We keep reminding them that God is good.  That He is no less good because W and B won't be coming home.  He is no less good when we are sad.  He is always good, He is always loving and He always wants what is ultimately for our good and His glory!  (Ok, so as I'm teaching them, I am reminding myself because this is hard!!)

We feel called to just sit and be still right now.  My personality is to want to make knee jerk reactions and move forward.  The Lord is telling us to sit, be still and trust that He will lead us to make the next move on this adoption journey.  

Tracie called to check on me yesterday and felt led to share with me this devotional entry. How perfect.

I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD ... Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage. (Psalm 27:13-14 NASB)

Do not despair!

Oh, how great the temptation is to despair at times! Our soul becomes depressed and disheartened, and our faith staggers under the severe trials and testing that come into our lives, especially during times of bereavement and suffering. We may come to the place where we say, "I can not bear this any longer. I am close to despair under these circumstances God has allowed. He tells me not to despair, but what am I to do when I am at this point?"

What have you done in the past when you felt weak physically? You could not do anything. You ceased from doing. In your weakness, you leaned on the shoulder of a strong loved one. You leaned completely on someone else and rested, becoming still, and trusting in another's strength.

It is the same when you are tempted to despair under spiritual afflictions. Once you have come close to the point of despair, God's message is not, "Be strong and courageous" (Josh 1:6), for He knows that your strength and courage have run away. Instead, He says sweetly, "Be still, and know that I am God" (Psalm 46:10)

Hudson Taylor was so weak and feeble in the last few months of his life that he told a friend, "I am so weak I can not write. I can not read my Bible. I cannot even pray. All I can do is lie still in the arms of God as a little child, trusting Him." This wonderful man of God, who had great spiritual power, came to the point of physical suffering and weakness where all he could do was lie still and trust.

This is all God asks of you as His dear child. When you become weak through the fierce fires of affliction, do not try to "Be strong". Just "be still, and know that (He is) God" And know taht He will sustain you and bring you through the fire.

God reserves His best medicine for our times of deepest despair.

Be strong and take heart. Psalm 27:14

Be strong, He has not failed you

In all the past,

And will He go and leave you

To sink at last?

No, He said He will hide you

Beneath His wing;

And sweetly there in safety

You then may sing.


~Laura~ said...

I'm so incredibly heartbroken for you guys and your kids. Your faith sharpens me. Praying for you guys!

Hauswife said...

I'm humbled by your steadfast faithfulness, Moody & Emily. I admire you more than I can say. Michael and I are praying for you daily, and throughout the day. We remember this pain far too well, and we are groaning with you to the Father. He knows. He sees. He's using it for your GOOD, for the GOOD of Hill, Avery, Wick, and Issy... AND for the GOOD of Biruk and Wudassi.
Look at how you've inspired people from all over the globe. It makes me think of Paul and Silas praising God after having been beaten and thrown in jail (Acts 16

Hauswife said...

Those around them watched, and saw their faith, and were moved to the point of eagerly desiring salvation, too. You are exemplifying faithfulness through suffering and it is encouraging the many people who are watching.
It's beautiful.
Love you. Praying.

These Three Kings said...

wow... no words to say.. other than I love you and I am praying (hugs)

Jana said...

amen to that!! thinking of you and praying for you.....


jana and michael

the albertsons said...

Thank you for reminding us of God's promises... we continue to lift you up here, sweet family...

Holli said...

my heart brakes for your kids at home and your kids for a moment in Africa.... I pray your stillness brings peace, joy and answers. I pray that W and B find a home as loving, kind and as Godly as yours. Praying that your ET children find their way to your home and can have their forever family. I will continue to pray for W and B as their faces our etched on my heart forever.

Amy said...

We are thinking and praying for you guys...for your sweet kids here and your sweet kids in Ethiopia...

Love to you guys from the Bottomlys!

Ellen said...

After that awful phone call, I started thinking about that book you let us borrow. (I forget what it's called. Something "Mercy") In the book, the woman sees a picture of a little Lithuanian girl and falls head over heels -- and then the girl gets adopted by someone else. Everything works out in the end and she finds a baby girl who needed her even more than she realized. As terrible as this situation seems, maybe it's just God's plan to lead you to something bigger and better that we just can't see right now. Of course I will continue to pray for you, Biruk, and Wudassie and that God will be glorified in this.

Melissa said...

I love you and your faith in the midst of this trial is so beautiful and a ministry to so so many. We continue to pray and pray for you, moody and the kids. It is so encouraging to see the body reach out and envelop you all.

Lori said...

You're right on target, be still and wait, clarity is right around the corner~ there's not one ounce of my body that isn't confident of the wonderment about to happen~

xo Lor

Darcy said...

I know you are going through such a tough time and still you ministered to me today. I want soooo badly to adopt again and dh is not on the same page. The passages you wrote of today are beautiful and a great reminder that God is in charge and it will come if it is His will. How hard to be still and wait(sigh) and yet, so peaceful too. Praying for you in this time.

TedTracie said...

Though we've never met face to face... I love you my friend.

thinking of you SO OFTEN! and praying for you!!!


Kristi J said...

I'm so sorry this has happened. I'll be praying for you guys. Kristi Johnson

Gurskes said...

Speechless..and tearful...

I want to deliever words of encouragment, but I feel a little bit of a grievance for these two beautiful children (but God has ultimate power and will provide for them).


S. said...

I am so very sorry for your family's pain, you will be in my prayers!

Keva said...

Love U! I am praying for you, Moody, Hill, Avery, Izzy and Wick. I will pray to that you can truly "be Still and Know that he is God." He is who he says he is and he will do what he say he will do. Love U!

Farmboy and Buttercup said...

Oh, I am SO sorry for your news. I was just checking up on blog reading today and really cannot imagine the sadness, grief and confusion your family is going through.

So glad you have friends that can share such awesome truths from our GREAT GOD.


Your faith is teaching us a lot right now ... i love you sweet sister and know that as your family works through this you are glorifying the Lord ... I love that in our weakness He is made perfect ...

I will stand in the gap w/you until YOUR children are home ... sending you hugs from TN ...

Erica said...

Humbled by your example. We are praying for you, praying for wisdom and guidance. God IS good ALL the time. Praying for your sweet kids as well as B and W. (((HUGS))) my friend.

Hauswife said...

Thinking about you and praying for all the Alexanders today.
With love

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry to hear about what you are going through. My husband Jeff and I are in a be still and wait process in our adoption as well. You will be in my thoughts and prayers

Zach and Erin Kennedy said...

I just wanted to let you know that we are thinking of praying for your family.

crazy thorne's said...

sitting in the lounge in Dulles. I am praying that God will give you clear vision for your decisions and know that I am your eyes in the next 2 weeks.

Misty said...

i love you Alexander family :O) i am trying to think of the words to explain what i'm thinking right now. pretty much to sum it up: i can see in your actions and how you have handled this guys are "walkin the walk". you are trusting in God and His word not only in the good times. this situation reminds me just a little of Job and what he went through (not on such a dramatic scale as he, but you get what i'm saying?). I thank the Lord that He let our lives intertwine how they have, i have learned a lot from you, Moody and Emily! and now i'm crying. Cash--stop making mommy cry! :O)

Anonymous said...

Hi Mood and Em,

Brett was on the phone with you-Moody- while I was reading your blog....
Let me say, how sorry I am, the pit in the stomach kind of sorry. I am so grateful for the verse " a hope deferred makes the heart sick", it gives me freedom for the ugly cry.
We have our fantastic four and four failed adoptions... miscarriages of the heart. We had just miscarried and left a 2 year old and 6 month old in a crack house in Pasedena, Texas when at your wedding we meet our our contact that lead us to Abby. She is 13, when most moms are complaining about the rolling of eyes and moodiness common to the teenage years... I still am deeply,deeply grateful that I have beautiful 13 year old daughter.
So I know He is at work in your pain as you are being STILL and truly Knowing Him.
our hearts are with you here in Hong Kong,

Erin said...

I just gotta say thank you for ministering to my heart this morning. I found the link to your blog on one of my friend's blogs. (You're right - this is such a crazy blog world and I've been amazed at how God is using it!) We've been in the process of adopting internationally for about a year now. We also have four kiddos. Three countries, three dossiers, and two agencies later, we are also just waiting, hoping, and trusting in God that He has a plan for our family. It's been so tough sometimes having this great big open heart and arms and yet coming upon many roadblocks and closed doors at the same time! (The comments of unknowing people have also been haunting me lately..."maybe you're just not ready..." or "maybe you're just not supposed to be adopting...") Man oh man, I don't know how much more ready I could be! But I'm trusting in Him. Sometimes it's hard to see the forest through the trees, but He does have a plan! And you're so right - it's all about Him anyway - all for His ultimate glory. Hang in there, friend. I look forward to seeing His plan for your family unfold. God bless.
Erin Wuthrich

These Three Kings said...

I love you my friend.. just wanted to say hello
continue to remember all his promises to you and yours

Ellen said...

Where has the A Team been lately?? It's been almost a week since you posted! :)

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"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from becoming polluted by the world." James 1:27
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