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Tuesday, March 8, 2011

sets the lonely in families

My heart is heavy, heavy for a country that I love dearly and the recent news about potential changes that could slow things down there to a crawl! I have been around Internation Adoption long enough to know that rumors swirl, changes take place and eventually things settle down and are accepted as the new norm.  If the news about Ethioipian adoptions slowing down like they speculate becomes reality, SO many children will spend YEARS living in orphanages, not families.  This breaks my heart.

I am all for reform and am well aware that there are agencies not playing by the rules and they absolutely should be stopped.  My heartbeat is for all of the children there that are true orphans, legally available for adoption, in the care of ethical agencies, doing everything they can to process cases in an ethical manner.  These children deserve homes, deserve moms and dads to tuck them in at night.  Deserve the security of a loving home.

I am not so naive to think that unethical practices don't exist, that some families aren't torn apart by greed and lack of options. That definitely needs to be stopped!  I am a HUGE supporter of family preservation, and DOMESTIC adoption within Ethiopia (check out this amazing new initiative if you haven't already). Sometimes though, IA is the best option for them.  Their chance at life.

I can only speak to my 2 experiences so far.  Speak of my 2 precious sons.

Abe- I honestly don't allow my mind to go to what life would be like for my little guy had he stayed in Ethiopia.  Had his precious birthmom not known in her heart that she wasn't able, didn't have the tools, the resources, the means to care for her son.  The son that she thought was healthy.  She made the decision based on what she knew.  She simply didn't know the needs this beautiful child would have, the therapy he would need, the access to neurologists and orthopedic surgeons and nutritionists......she didn't know, but HE did.  "A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in His holy dwelling.  God sets the lonely in families," Psalm 68:5-6

I can't think of anything more lonely than lying in a crib, unable to move and having your muscles severly contract due to lack of stretching.  International adoption was Abe's best option and our greatest gift.

We would have missed out on moments like this.  When his legs move in a way that an MRI simply says they shouldn't.  We get to experience the miracle.

Eyasu- A double orphan, extended family doing the very best they could to care for him, to love him, to meet his needs. I imagine, and have been told, that the decision to relinquish was extremely difficult.  When a 2 year old weighs what a typical 6 month old does, sometimes you don't have a choice.  So he moved to care, he got well.  He got a family.  Our joy, our blessing.

So today, I am prayerful.  Prayerful for the children that need homes, that deserve families. For those already referred, about to be referred, those waiting...... I am prayerful that the necessary measures needed to make sure that unethical practices, people and agencies are stopped, and prayerful that His glory will be shown and revealed in ways that we simply can't imagine.  His plan is best.  He writes the script and I am learning to allow Him to move the pen.

For I know the plans I have for you, (orphan and adoptive parent) declares the Lord.  Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11


Ted and Lori said...

This is such a good post, Emily. The situation is so heartbreaking, and we are holding on to every bit of hope we find.

Holli said...

heavy and PRAYING here too!!!
Beautifully written!!!

Holli said...


Heather said...

I keep telling myself, repeating over and over... "GOD IS BIGGER THAN ALL THIS!!!!"

Love seed adoption. Love Abe!

Praying praying praying...

Tymm said...

Thanks for this Emily. i am struggling to put my thoughts and feelings in to written words.

This spoke to me and touched me.

thank you. we're praying constantly here at Camp Hoffman...

Jen said...

Beautiful post! praying alongside you! Heavy heavy heart. What to do?

Joy said...

So, so good, Emily. Thank you for posting this. We are fervently praying and trusting in the goodness of our God, no matter the outcome. He is sovereign, He is bigger than we can ever imagine. My heart is crying the same things as yours. Thanks again for sharing. And your boys are absolutely precious.

Visions of South Africa / Africa said...

He IS Hope for the Hopeless, He knows each one by name....standing with you in prayer! So beautiful...

Kim said...

My heart breaks for the true orphans that this could potentially affect :O(

The Busters said...

So well written. Heavy is a good word for how my heart feels as well.

We Are Family said...


Erica said...

My heart is heavy as well. Ethical adoption is a must and getting the babes out that need immediate attention is also a must. Praying for God to intervene in a BIG way.

Julie said...

Praying alongside of you! Ugh!!! At a loss for words!!!!!

Courtney Holder said...


Lyndsay said...


missy said...

go abey go!

such a beautiful and powerful post. thank you for linking to seed adoption. how cool that it was birthed at idea camp! my husband and i were just talking about how we can have a long lasting connection in ethiopia and be a part of a solution to the orphan crisis there. i am excited to learn more.

jay n tricia said...

Great post. I appreciate the thoughtful words b/c I just don't even know what to say about it all. My heart has felt oh so heavy this last week as I wonder what all this means. Not just for so many families like us on waitlist and in the referral process who are wondering about their children, but ultimately, the impact overall and then personally to so many of the precious children and people there.

Love the pictures and testimony of your own boys' amazing stories. They remind me that God is writing stories for so many of these children, and to continue to trust Him fully and wait on Him. and to keep PRAYING PRAYING PRAYING!!!

Rebecca said...

Thank you for writing this post! I know people have opposing opinions on the situation in Ethiopia right now. But, the children should be the focus! Thank you for allowing people to see that!

darci said... I am BAWLING..just sitting here weeping, so grateful for this post, for your compassion. We are caught in the middle of this craziness (after three years, an agency much struggle). And praying for a miracle. Because God loves adoption, I know..thanks for your prayers for this time..

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"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from becoming polluted by the world." James 1:27
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